131916

Joke of the Day

"The declawed cats that I feel most sorry for are the ones that want to play scratch off lottery tickets."

"This Halloween on the East Coast I heard a lot of people are going to be the Scorpions this Halloween. Because we're gonna get rocked like a hurricane."

"What kind of environment do hobbits live in? A hobbitat"

"How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two. Real question is, how'd they get in there.?"

"4yo: You're a good dad. Me: Thanks. 4yo: You'd be better if you said yes more. Me: Okay. 4yo: Can I have ice cream? Think about what I said."

"What do you call a group of African superheroes? The Jaundice League"

"What if the Bible had a major typo and the Devil was really after our SOIL? Maybe he just wants to grow some pot plants."

"Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout Boy scouts come home from camp"

"Today, I asked my husband if he would still love me if I was ugly and fat. He answered, ""Yes, honey I do."""

"What was the favorite genre of music of the man that hung himself off of a windy bridge Swing"