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Joke of the Day

"My safe word is antidisestablishmentarianism. Don't worry. I never get laid."

"What's a Catholic's favorite way to send money? PayPal"

"I have only ever completed 2 successful high-fives."

"When should I send a picture of my cat to my boyfriend? I checked online and they keep saying I should make him wait to see my pussy, but I don't see what the big deal is."

"Do you guys know the story of Flip Flap the Giraffe? It's a giraffe, walking in the savannah. All of a sudden, an helicopter comes by and..... flip flap the giraffe!"

"What was Jeremy Clarkson on during Top Gear? SPEEEED!"

"Necrophilia wouldn't be such a big issue... If the victims were a little bit more outspoken."

"Which came first: the chicken or the egg? 'Murica came first."

"Did you hear the joke #4126?"

"This morning some bloke drove up to my house in a huge lorry and dumped off a massive pile of lego blocks. I'm so furious I don't know what to make of it."