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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump is going to be president in 4 days. That..that's it..."

"The other night I went out on a blind date Well it didn't start out that way, she had mace."

"Why did the janitor take early retirement? Because he realized that grime doesn't pay."

"Her: OMG you're alive!!! I heard you bought the farm! ME: No no, I bought ""a"" farm. HER: but I told everyone you're dead! ME: That's fine"

"What's the difference between your mom and a washing machine? If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks."

"A married couple are having sex..."

"What do you think Jesus's stance would be on guns? I think he would be most strict on nail gun control. (Credit to Taylor on PKA)"

"What's the difference between finding $50 and anal sex? One will make your day, the other will make your hole weak."

"The job interviewer asked about my previous experience. ""Well,"" I began, ""I got the bus. Got lost for a while, walked down some narrow roads and I ended up here."""

"What does a house wear? Address!"