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Joke of the Day

"*throws a dead pigeon at jerk who cut me off in traffic* Wife: Hun, I don't think ""flipping the bird"" means what you think it means."

Next Joke
 
"People keep making apocalypse jokes... Like there's no tomorrow"
"A black guy willing to hold a frisbee, smile and sit on some grass with white kids can make a career out of appearing in college brochures."
"Two ants, Jack and Rose, are sitting on a leaf on water. Suddenly, a small tide comes and upturns the leaf. Only the girl ant sinks... ...because the other is a buoy ant"
"Why did Hitler blows his brains out?... Because he saw his gas bill. Also this joke isn't funny, one of my family members died in a concentration camp. He went to take a piss and fell out of a tower."
"Wanna hear my Jump Rope joke? Never mind, I'll just skip it."
"I'm getting so pissed off with my new psychiatrist. I'm sure he's only treating my paranoia for the money."
"Duct Tape is a lot like The Force It has a dark side, a light side, and it holds the universe together."
"Everyone keeps saying Marry Christmas to me... I'm so confused. Who's this Christmas girl and why does everyone want me to marry her?"
"So I was listening to classical music really loudly the other day when suddenly... My speakers Baroque."