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Joke of the Day

"That Russian guy died today.... I guess that's one we can Chekov the list."

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"Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea ? Jack the kipper !"
"Spoil any movie by telling ur friend ""Ice Cube dies"" before they watch it. They'll be waiting for Ice Cube to appear and die the whole time"
"I wish I had a job. That way I could spend all day tweeting when I should be working."
"Next time my cat has some friends over, I'm going to puke right next to where they are sitting and see how she likes it."
"Win a Canadian marathon by putting a door just before the finish line and having them all wait for you to go through first."
"What do you call a cannibal who only eats comatose people? A vegetarian."
"Why are blondes so easy to get into bed? Who cares?"
"So a pun, a play on words, and an anecdote walk into a bar. No joke."
"Make sure to pay your Exorcist on time, because otherwise... ...They'll repossess your home."