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Joke of the Day

"what did the soldier say to the other soldier when wanting him to get in the tank? ""Get in the tank!"""

"The only way to make conservatives feel threatened by climate change is to convince them the climate is gay."

"Scientists say there are now 4 confirmed states of matter Solid matter Liquid matter Gas matter and most recently... Black Lives matter"

"I finally decided to unfollow someone who hasn't tweeted in a year. They'll probably come back tomorrow & make me look like a real c**t."

"What is cookie monsters favorite war? Vietnom nom nom nom"

"My girlfriend and I are in sync! Like the band. Or soap."

"I appreciate the transparency Domino's pizza tracker provides, but updates like ""Carl dropped your pizza"" & ""5 second rule"" are a bit much."

"The past, the present & the future walk into a bar. It was tense."

"Hey, Reddit! Here's one about cats: why did the mother cat move her kittens? She didn't want to litter."

"I have to wonder why we have ""non-essential"" government employees in the first place."