204713

Joke of the Day

"I appreciate the transparency Domino's pizza tracker provides, but updates like ""Carl dropped your pizza"" & ""5 second rule"" are a bit much."

"What kind of music did Jesus hate? Anything by Judas Priest and Nine Inch Nails."

"I'm selling my talking parrot. Why? Because yesterday, the bastard tried to sell me."

"No one is born racist. Racism is taught. By other races."

"If a fat person has a fully functioning penis... If a fat person has a fully functioning penis, does that make them a sperm whale?"

"Damn, girl are you Twitter? Because I can't stop staring at you and saying stupid things."

"What happens when a mean girl dies? They write an o-bitch-uary"

"Teacher: You aren't paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing? Pupil: No teacher I'm having trouble listening!"

"should probably not think about sad things at work i mean who wants to buy a dildo from someone who was clearly just crying in the shoe room"

"a man walks into a bar ""Ouch!"" he said."