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Joke of the Day

"god: go to earth jesus: why god: i have a plan jesus: is it a nice plan god: it's a plan"

"The Religious Right. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."

"I'm shaking what my momma gave me. It's the most darling snowglobe I've ever seen. LOOK AT IT."

"I love my toilet. We've been through a lot of shit together."

"If your name is Paul... (If you beat somebody in any way). Are you a flower? CAUSE YOU JUST GOT PAULINATED!"

"What do they call me in prison? Mitochondria, cause I'm the powerhouse of the cell"

"What did the sadist say to the masochist? No Probably has been put on here before but it made me chuckle."

"Cop: You were speeding so I'm going to be giving you a ticket Me: Ooh, could I win something Cop: Sort of, 2 more of these & you get a bike"

"What did one lawyer say to the other? ""we are both lawyers."""

"I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian ."