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Joke of the Day

"Apple have talked about their most recent iPhone recently, The sales team seems to think it was a huge 6s"

"My kid was saying they wanted an Omnitrix that let him change into pokemon So am like...you want to be a ditto?"

"Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Boy: Me! I'm going home now."

"Thanks to School, I Now Eat Two Meals a Day... ... breakfast and dinner at home."

"No, No, people. It's okay. I can make racist jokes. One of my best friends is a racist."

"How do you make your penis bigger? Eat chicken and watermelon then wash it down with grape drink."

"my grandfather destroyed the economy w/ the overproduction of coins he pulled from behind my ears. the market simply could not deal"

"I changed my relationship status to ""I'm sharpening my knives"" on Facebook so my boyfriend's family will never come visit"

"I went to a Rastafari's funeral last night... It was dreadful."

"How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. They hold it in place and wait for the world to revolve around them."