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Joke of the Day

"Supposedly Adam Ant has been trying to impress Robert Plant for years... ...everyone knows Adam Ant doesn't move Robert Plant, but he's got high hopes."

"I call bullshit on red wine reducing fat. If there was any truth to that, I'd resemble a crack addict."

"I joined a nudist colony in Canada. To be honest, I'm starting to get cold feet."

"Why are clickbait titles generally in the form of a question?"

"Woman: Is it a boy or a girl, doctor? Doctor: It's a mango. A perfectly ripe mango Woman: Oh thank GOD. I hate babies"

"What was the favorite chicken dish of Hitler? The SwasTikka"

"What do you call a sink that doesn't work? A faux-cet."

"Canadian summer I asked my Canadian buddy ""Did you have a good summer?"" He said ""No! I was working that day."""

"[friend being eaten by a bear] *screaming violently* Me: Stay calm! Don't move so much! I'm trying to take a picture for snapchat!"

"Does anyone know how to change the batteries in a dead kitten? Please help."