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Joke of the Day

"The trick to successfully backing out of a parking space is to not care what happens to you or anyone else."

"My friend threw his watch in the trash. ""Stop!"" I told him, ""You're wasting time!"""

"You know the difference between 2 dicks and a joke is? You can't take a joke."

"I really enjoyed reading the Diary of Anne Frank Although I was disappointed it ended rather abruptly"

"A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants the bartender asks ""doesn't that thing annoy you?"" The pirate says ""arr, it's driving me nuts"""

"Great pickup line... You:Hey, do you have a Memory foam mattress? Her: Yes. You: Wanna Traumatize it?"

"If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror-movie. After a while it won't feel like you are alone anymore..."

"How come Donald Trump is on the frontpage of Reddit so much? Its all reposts from Hitler"

"What did the limestone say to the geologist? Don't take me for granite!"

"Life Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself. Moral: In life, no one helps you once you're fucked!"