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Joke of the Day

"When I see lover's names carved in a tree... I don't think it's sweet. I'm just surprised of how many people bring knives on a date."

"I installed a pet door over the weekend, and the dog barked at it, and the cat pissed on it, but the raccoons have got the idea."

"I don't understand how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and my wife can have 152 just for our house."

"I just ate some pasta... ...and it was worth every Penne. ^(My god, that must be the worst joke I've ever written.)"

"What do you call an American Drawing? A Yankee Doodle."

"What does a basketball player do before he blows out his candles? He makes a swish!"

"Give me that! You're going to hurt yourself! *takes toy *hurts self with toy 4: Hahahaha"

"What's the #1 cause of pedophilia? ...sexy kids NOTE: Don't let this note, my acct. name, and the fact that this is only my second post interrupt your comedic ~~enboyment~~ enjoyment"

"what do you say when you're out of spoons? fork it."

"Her: ""Will you still love me if you win 1 million dollars at the lottery?"" Him: ""Of course, baby! But I will miss you..."""