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Joke of the Day

"What's the #1 cause of pedophilia? ...sexy kids NOTE: Don't let this note, my acct. name, and the fact that this is only my second post interrupt your comedic ~~enboyment~~ enjoyment"

"Saying ""unwanted houseguests"" is redundant. I just call them houseguests."

"Even though I don't smoke cigarettes, I exclusively date women who do... I figure if they're willing to suck on something that nasty, they'll suck just about anything."

"You've said it before and I'll say it again -Plagiarists"

"What did the Texas sheriff say about the black guy who was shot 15 times? ""Worse case of suicide I ever saw."""

"Why was the homeless man's body cremated? Because he urned it"

"I go to the gym religiously. You know, once or twice a year around the holidays."

"I was going to tell a suicide bomber joke, but I feel that it would just blow up in my face."

"Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tyred. Alexa gave me that one. Bing Bang boom."

"What does a triangular acorn say when it grows up? Geometry."