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Joke of the Day

"[david attenborough voice] wolves, also known as nature's best animal, have been cool for hundreds of thousands of years"

"Craigslist A man placed an ad on his local craigslist: ""Wife wanted"". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ""You can have mine."""

"How about a really bad food court where planes land? Pitch for every airport"

"Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it."

"What if toilet plumbing was really like those tubes at the bank and all the tubes just went to this one guy's house and he's really pissed"

"Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully? A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully."

"If Jesus invested $1 dollar when He was alive, it would have grown into $100 trillion dollars today. But that's the thing about Jesus, He didn't invest, He saved."

"My father just texted that he's been kicked off the roof of a Cleveland casino for grilling hotdogs, if you ever wondered why I am this way."

"I've heard of sleepwalking on Ambien but the cabbie dropped me off and seems I flew to New Mexico, got peyote, ate a burrito, and flew back."

"Why don't people tell Jim Jones jokes? The punchline is too long."