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Joke of the Day

"Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it."

"I created a new joke and a new word today Plagiarism"

"My grief counselor died last week. Luckily, he was so good I didn't give a shit."

"[Opens a beer at the park] ""Dude. There's kids here."" Oh shit how rude of me. [turns] IF YOU KIDS WANT SOME BEERS THEYRE IN THE COOLER"

"Me: *shakes bosses hand* Sorry I'm late to the meeting boss. Boss: No problem, restroom? Me: Yes, and we're out of TP and hand soap again."

"Complementing a mustache should be a good thing I don't know why she took it as an insult. Edit: *compliment. I knew something seemed weird"

"Have you ever read the serial number on a condom before? No? You have to unroll it 2 more inches!"

"I told my friend he's a bad thief. He's not taking it well."

"Did you hear Donald Trump wants to ban pre-shredded cheese? Apparently a bunch of immigrants work in the Kraft factory."

"Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)"