78417
Joke of the Day
"If the pensieve from Harry Potter could think... It would be thoughtful."
Next Joke
"What's the opposite of ennui? Off-ui. from *Gilmore Girls*."
"I always write ""boing"" in the memo section of my checks, so all parties involved know how this is gonna go."
"This man says to his friend"" I stopped driving 10 years ago. Now my wife drives and I just sit there and hold the wheel."""
"Me: I'll take 'Marriage' for 800 Alex Alex: Having one wife too many Me: What is bigamy Alex: Nooo. We were looking for, what is monogamy"
"What do toilet paper and the Starship Enterprise have in common? They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons."
"There are 2 things I hate in this world... People who can't count."
"California is getting so much rain right now... ...that even Caitlyn Jenner is getting wet."
"Wow, if Justin Bieber trends this much without dying, imagine how much he'll trend when he OD's on puberty. #careerdeath"
"Did you hear about the new Yiddish martial art... that involves rapid spasms and filing legal action against your opponent? Jew-fit-sue is taking off in a big way"