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Joke of the Day

"I THINK I DRANK TOO MUCH SWEET TEA AND I'M SO AWAKE AND NO ONE ELSE SEEMS TO BE AWAKE AND YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVEN'T DONE IN A WHILE, LUNGES!!"

"You've seen nothing until you've seen a picture of a pigeon having a job interview to become a pigeon:"

"To everybody whose birthday is today. I am sorry that your birthday was not yesterday, otherwise you would have had a puny birthday."

"Whats the difference between Usain bolt and Hitler? Usain bolt can finish a race. Edit: Grammar"

"Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes the reason is you are stupid and make bad descisions..."

"You really have to hand it to the members of the African American community."

"Wife: What did you get me for Mother's Day? 3-year-old: A cake. Wife: Where is it? 3: You haven't made it yet."

"Why do all the little boys in Crete have golden penis's? Because thats the only place that King Mino's touches them!"

"Grammar Nazi. ""Sir, we are mining too many useless cores"" [Hitler rubs chin] ""So, mine less. [Grammar Nazi bursts through the door] ""MINE FEWER!"" [Hitler looks up] ""Yes, soldier?"""

"If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it and shove it up your ass."