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Joke of the Day

"You've seen nothing until you've seen a picture of a pigeon having a job interview to become a pigeon:"

"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Nevermind It's to cheesy."

"What's the bright side of being knocked unconscious and raped? At least you get to start with an anonymous tip."

"Just how hairy was the dude who invented a shampoo called Head & Shoulders?"

"What are some of the best comments on threads? [deleted]"

"Put your family down and pay attention to your phone."

"i wish humans were as excited to meet each other as dogs"

"I used to be in a band called The Prevention... We were better than the Cure."

"Someone's written an album about thermometers... I've heard it's been nominated for a Mercury Prize."

"Give it to me! Give it to me!"" she yelled, ""I'm so wet, give it to me now!"" She could scream all she wanted to. I was keeping the umbrella."