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Joke of the Day

"The weatherman keeps saying we are getting a pounding. *Followed*"

"Q. What has seventy-five balls and screws old ladies? A. Bingo!"

"I am the janitor of the World Trade center back in 2001 - AmA Edit: Wow this *blew* up."

"What do you call a Greek philosopher who plays hard to get? A socra-tease Made this one up myself. I'll be here all week"

"My love is like communism; everyone gets a share, and it's only good in theory."

"My daughter just informed me that 75% of you follow me because of how I look. I'm not sure if I'm flattered or insulted."

"I love going to the dentist. He fills all my cavities. Then checks my teeth."

"What's a gambler's favorite time of day? 10 to 1."

"Did you hear ISIS blew up their first Italian recruit in a suicide bombing today? They decided to rig a Tony"

"Have you heard about the corduroy pillows They were so famous they made headlines."