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Joke of the Day

"well technicaly my oficial title is ""head research scientist in the field of DNA sequencimg manipulation"" but u can call me ""gene hack man"""

"My mate Jim says I might be schizophrenic... which is weird because I don't have a mate called Jim."

"""GIVE IT TO ME"" she yelled ""Oh my God I'm so wet!!"" She could scream all she wants I was keeping the umbrella"

"My wives going to a fancy dress party tonight dressed as a Rastafarian. She wants me to do her hair. I'm dreading it!"

"How did he get from Afghanistan to Iraq? Iran (He ran). Thought of this when looking at the world map, sorry that it's terrible."

"Man On Bus Asked Me, ""Why Looking So Crabby This Morning?"" I Just Found Out I Have Cancer..."

"Not to brag or anything, but I scored 4 points on flappy bird before my phone mysteriously flung itself across the room"

"Why is the crow so angry after his stand up comedy gig? The venue paid him in Coffee instead of Caw Fee."

"I bet dogs have a really hard time playing Twister Left paw: grey Other left paw: darker grey, but not the darkest grey. Sort of in between"

"I wasn't dropped as a baby, but I've been making up for it ever since."