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Joke of the Day

"Please don't tell my three year old his oversized black calculator isn't really an iPad. He'd be crushed to learn his dad lied to him."

"Is it true there is an 'underground' organization supporting Mitt Romney? Called ""Sub-Mitt""?"

"7am: *starts diet* 7pm: *eats the house*"

"Why should you never play Uno with a Mexican? Because they'll steal all the green cards."

"Why do women only use putters while playing golf? Because women can't drive."

"What kind of phone does The Flash use? Not an iPhone because Apple doesn't support flash"

"Last time I wore my celery costume out in public I was arrested for stalking."

"People think Jesus was so great... But all he did was give fish to a thousand people. &nbsp; You forget that Hitler made 6 million people toast."

"Did you hear about the gay guy who got in a car accident? Some dick rear-ended him."

"Carrots cant float. But if you tie fishy wire to one and hang it in the air and look at it from far away, it almost look like its floating"