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Joke of the Day

"A child asks his dad... Child: ""Dad, how high is that building?"" Building: ""If I'm already built, why am I called a building?"" Dad: ""Pretty damn high."""

"Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem? A: Carry loaded weapons."

"What kind of bird does 2 Chainz own? Toucan"

"The first thing I thought when I saw that House Republicans wanted more Congressional Bengazzara hearings... ""This seems a bit much, wasn't *that* bad as Jackie Treehorn"""

"What is the difference between a priest and a zit? A zit wait to come on your face till your 13"

"She's got a great personality! It's the other 6 personalities that I'm worried about...."

"What's the best thing about a poet in a prison? Oh you know, it has its prose and cons. Badum Tish. Be gentle, first time here."

"bad feelings when others left home they are thinking: did i closed the window... did i closed the fridge...? when i left home: did i delete my history?"

"Reforming FIFA analogy-1 Reforming FIFA by Sep Blatter is like reforming Tax for wealthy people by Donald Trump"

"Therapist: You need to focus on setting healthy boundaries. Me: *goes home* *puts broccoli around perimeter of donut box* *eats 12 donuts*"