200967

Joke of the Day

"Van Halen on tour in 2012! I doubt the Mayans realized they'd be up against ""Drop Dead Legs"" when they predicted the end of the world."

"My girlfriend told me she was pregnant Me: You gotta be joking! Her: No, I'm serious! Me: Hi, Serious! I'm dad."

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche sitting in my garage"

"My idea to call our weekend bicycling group the ""Pedalphiles"" was not well-received AT ALL."

"You'd think that atoms bonding would mean they're being friendly to each other, but instead they steal each others electrons. How ionic."

"Next year is going to be an odd one. credit goes to my dad."

"[sees kid crying in the mall] ""What's wrong?"" ""I'm lost."" ""You're in the mall you little idiot."""

"What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? The fridge don't fart when you pull meat out of it."

"I love my husband. But, what really motivates me to stay married is how much weight I'd have to lose to date again."

"Why couldn't the traffic light get a date? She was wearing no turn on red. :|"