149316
Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stops after three HOs."
Next Joke
"My performance as ""guy who acts disgusted when wife says our recently divorced neighbor is dating a 23 year old"" is getting early Emmy buzz."
"Stephen Hawking says artificial intelligence could destroy the human race. Sorry Stephen, but my money's on LACK of intelligence."
"Just a hipster joke passing by... Why did the hipster burn his hand? Because he touched the heater before it was cool."
"Say, Ernie, want some Ice Cream? Sherbert"
"What do you get if King Kong sits on your piano? A flat note."
"How do you sell a chicken to a deaf man? (pause....) WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN??!! (SHOUTING)"
"What's brown and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron"
"No matter who wins the presidential election, it will be historic. We'll either have the first female president, the first Jewish president, the first Canadian president, or the last president."
".@tonyhawk Will you kick flip over my coffin at my funeral? Need to know by Friday."