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Joke of the Day

"I got fired from the health spa. A psychic came in and asked for a back rub. I gave him one, but then I got in trouble for massage-a-mystic behavior."

"Two dyslexics are walking down the street... ""Can you smell dog shit?"" asks the first. ""I can't even smell my own name"" replies the other"

"I just found the worst page in the entire dictionary... ...What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous."

"DATE: Are you a dog person or a cat person? ME: *gets really close to the date & whispers* I'm just a person, what bullshit question is this"

"I found out how to make my penis 2 inches bigger Just spend a year in space"

"""Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."" Me, to my empty bag of Oreos."

"Not to brag but I can produce cute children. DNA and all. Call me?"

"When I told my boyfriend love has to come from both ways... ...he suggested a threesome"

"Why did Microsoft go straight to Windows 10 and skip 9? Because Windows 8 9."

"Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. (my wife tells this joke to everyone and no one but me has ever laughed)"