7765

Joke of the Day

"What do Wesson and KY have in common? Despite it being technically accurate, they'd both prefer you not refer to their products as ""rape oil"""

"I was sitting in traffic the other day got run over."

"Why is there no volume control on the microwave? Must it always wake the entire house when I'm trying to quietly nuke the last of the pizza?"

"Finally decided to throw away my favourite pair of socks but then i got cold feet"

"Women are like bathrooms stalls.... ....they're all dirty, except the handicap ones -Jim Jeffries"

"If there isn't a fireworks company whose slogan is ""our business is booming,"" that seems like a real missed opportunity."

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a scotsman? Mick Jagger says ""hey you, get off of my cloud."" a scotsman says ""hey McLeod, get off of my ewe!"""

"I like my cream like I like my slaves. Whipped. *I'm so sorry*"

"American girls A kid asked his Dad if he could have $10 for a guinea pig. His Dad says, ""All I have is $5, why don't you find yourself a nice American girl."""

"The first judge ever was like ""When I'm done talking I'll pound my desk with a hammer"" and we were all ""Ok that's not insane"""