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Joke of the Day
"What do Classical musicians do when they die? They decompose."
Next Joke
"What did the elephant say to the naked man? You breathe through *that*?"
"Hot girls on Twitter: Single and straight: 3% Lesbians: 12% Taken and straight: 15% Men: 70%"
"If I was a coach, time outs would be awkward silences ending with, ""So, any good YouTube stuff?"""
"10 qualities of a perfect girlfriend: 1. Truthful 2. Intelligent 3. Gentle 4. Humble 5. Tolerant 6. Polite 7. Understanding 8. Sexy 9. Smart 10. Young In short:- T.I.G.H.T.P.U.S.S.Y"
"My sex life is just like star wars: Its either Han Solo, or i have to use the force."
"Your kid is running around the store screaming at the top of his lungs annoying everyone and I'm the asshole for tripping him??"
"A guy with a gun enters a bar... ""Who the fuck had sex with my wife?"" He snarled. A voice was heard in the background, ""You don't have enough bullets mate!"""
"What do you call three Egyptian women in a bathtub? Gorillas in the mist"
"What did the egg say to the boiler water? It might take me awhile to get hard, I just got laid last night."