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Joke of the Day

"Straight dudes should be fine with Gays It takes away two hot men from the dating pool And two ugly women."

"Beer:""You know what would be funny?"" Me:""No. What?"" Beer:""Really? Finish me and have four more then I'll ask again."" Me:""Yes, sir."""

"Why do rednecks like Halloween? Because they can Pump-Kin"

"How that we are engaged I hope you'll give me a ring. Of course. What's your phone number ?"

"This is how good my dog is, LOL. I tell ya, my dog is lazy. He don't chase cars. He sits on the curb and takes down license plate numbers. Rodney Dangerfield"

"A slutty egg walks into a bar. Everyone starts laughing at her. ""I don't get it. What's so funny?"" she demands. The bartender says, ""Well, the yoke's on you."""

"Me: Can I please sleep? Brain: No. Now sing Mambo #5 again. Me: But I hate that song! Brain: I don't give a shit! Me: 1, 2, 3-4-5..."

"What do you call a digital video recorder that cuts down trees and builds dams? A bvr"

"What do you say to Floyd Mayweather after his arms have been cut off? Whatever you like."

"It is so much easier to turn friendship into love, than love into friendship."