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Joke of the Day
"What do you say to Floyd Mayweather after his arms have been cut off? Whatever you like."
Next Joke
"I want to go on the record by saying I love my family but if I have to spend any longer with them you'll be seeing me on the 6 o'clock news."
"At the funeral home How do you want your mother-in-law buried or cremated? Hmm No risk do both."
"Why does Anders Brevik oppose gassing the Muslims? Because he knows it's a waste of time, it's impossible to get a Muslim to take a shower"
"My sister said to me: Where do Tie Fighters sit in church? In the *pew*."
"What's the difference between a run-down Greyhound stop and a crabby, decrepit prosititute? The first is a crusty bus station, whereas the second is an accurate description of your mother."
"Would you people tweet something funny so I can steal it already? I need to update my Facebook status."
"Why is it that in girls tampons commercials they're always laughing and dancing? Shouldn't they be revving chainsaws and burning stuff down?"
"The kids of today have no respect. They're rude, lazy and swear to make themselves look big and coolnnNothing at all like us..."
"Farming isn't for everyone.. But hay, it's in my jeans."