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Joke of the Day

"did you hear about the italian chef? he pasta way"

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"Although it may be true that I don't have a lot of friends, I do however have a significant amount of strangers that don't bother me."
"So my husband asked me if I anted a boob job... I replied ""How much does it pay?"""
"Why does Father Christmas like to work in the garden ? Because he likes to hoe hoe hoe"
"I went to a nudist casino... ...I lost my shirt at the poker tables."
"What do you call it when a criminal goes down an elevator? A con descending."
"What's the difference between a penis and a sleeping bag? One you crawl in and the other crawls in you."
"It's probably too soon for Ebola jokes on here... ...but when the time comes, I bet they're gonna be killer."
"I run and I run and I run and I run but I don't go anywhere. What am I? A third-party candidate in the U.S."
"A guy came up to me at the gym and asked me what event I was training so hard for. Life, motherf*cker."