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Joke of the Day

"I'll stop at nothing... ...to avoid using negative numbers."

"A reboot of Dexter, but this time he stalks and kills people who reply to a text message with a phone call"

"Q: Did you hear about the imaginary tree? A: It was mapleleaf."

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. Eh, it works better if you tell it out loud, but you get the ... eye-dea."

"Did you hear about the crazy Mexican train thief? He has loco motives."

"A robber comes up to a man in a suit and threatens him... -Give me YOUR money! -But, I'm a ... politician. -Okay then,give me MY money!"

"I got fired today ""what? why?"" no idea ""you have no idea?"" nope ""I'm confused when did this happen?"" between pre break break and break"

"When you gaze into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you, wraps a towel around itself and screams oh wait that's my neighbor haha Hi Pam!"

"Of course you can be anything you wanna be. That's how delusions work."

"Why couldn't the artist get a driver's license? He gave off a good Impression, but couldn't make a Van Gogh."