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Joke of the Day

"Dead babies and rocks What is the difference between a dead baby and a rock? You can't Fuck a rock"

"What's every spider's dream job? A web designer."

"I've survived 23 years by pretending to be smarter than I am. I tell people I excel in Academia but I can't even point Academia out on a map"

"One for the science guys: Q) How do you make a hormone? A) Don't pay her!"

"I got charged for a satellite dish the other day... I was furious. He told me it'd be on the house."

"I can't figure out why my son hates me. Tim hates you? No, my other son. I can't remember his name. I just call him ""not Tim"""

"Why don't good golfers cheat? Cause they play the fairway."

"You can lose weight if you don't eat foods that start with capital letters. Even faster if you live in Germany!"

"What do you call a brony in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile"

"What are the inhabitants of Crete called? Cretins!"