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Joke of the Day

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Aardvark ! Aardvark who ? Aardvark a million miles for one of your smiles !"

"A guy walked up to my bar. He said, ""Can I have a stiff drink?"" ""Of course,"" I replied, cracking some Viagra pills into his whiskey."

"I love Honest Abe. Do you want to hear my favourite quote from him? ""My head hurts."""

"What's a martian's favorite wine? Chardonayy."

"What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and Jesus? You only need one nail for the picture."

"An eskimo on holiday in Wales... His car breaks down. A Welshman looks under the bonnet and says, ""you've blown a seal"" Eskimo says ""so what, you fuck sheep"""

"Got a handjob from a blind girl last night She said ""You're dicks the biggest one I've ever put my hands on."" I said ""Nahh, you're just pullin' my leg."" Edit: spell check"

"What is Samsung PR team's Christmas jingle you ask? The phone we gave you is frightful, But the fire is so delightful ; And since we have no replace to go, Let it blow! Let it blow! Let it blow!"

"What kind of fish is made of just two atoms? 2 Na"

"I swear, if the paper were better quality, I would wipe my ass with all these fucking reports I have to print out all the fucking time"