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Joke of the Day

"BREAKING: Swiss Police confirm that, when arrested, all seven FIFA officials threw themselves on the ground and pretended to be injured."

"I had to use my glasses when playing tennis. Because its a no contact sport."

"Who has more sense a woman or a wall? The wall. It knows how to keep its mouth shut, do its job, stay fuckin put!"

"Did you hear about that frog that broke a bone? Yea he broke a ribbet"

"What's blue and yellow and sits at the bottom of the pool? A baby with slashed floaties. What's red and yellow and floats on top of the pool? Floaties with a slashed baby."

"Girlfriend: Have you ever been with a fat chick? Me: Nope, you're the first one. Gf: What? Me: What?"

"If Chuck Norris catches you writing jokes about him, he'll smash your face into the keyjhesreqdzsf"

"I knew she'd come crawling to me.. I mean, I DID steal her wheelchair"

"Johnny Depp to play Tim Burton in the director's self-made biopic It will be the first ever interpersonal autobiography"

"why are archaeologists so proud of their study? their work is always groundbreaking"