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Joke of the Day

"My friend asked ""What do blind people think about when they masturbate?"" I'd be willing to bet that it is something along the lines of ""Who the f*ck is watching me"""

"Was kind of surprised at all the swearing when I unplugged the church organ to charge my phone."

"After reviewing my life, God may very well issue another 5 to 10 commandments. Sorry, guys."

"Lazy People Fact #5812672793. You were too lazy to read that number."

"I'm not sexist. Being sexist is wrong and being wrong is for woman."

"I like my men like I like my packets of instant oatmeal: Chunky and knowledgeable with facts about dinosaurs."""

"Vegans think they will live longer than us, but they don't realize they are 100 times more likely to be murdered mid conversation."

"What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? When you're done with the breast and thighs, the only thing left is a greasy box to put your bone in"

"What's the quietest element? A no-bell gas. Especially when the ringing noises Are-gon."

"What is it called when a blind deaf man commits murder? Senseless Slaughter..."