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Joke of the Day

"After reviewing my life, God may very well issue another 5 to 10 commandments. Sorry, guys."

"What did Sushie A say to Sushi B? Wasa-B! Let's roll."

"What's worse than a pedophile? A fucking pedophile."

"Does anyone have the number of a painter/decorator? I really need to get all my windows jammed so they never open again."

"Patient ""Doctor, I've broken my arm in several places"" Doctor ""Well don't go to those places."""

"Great news insomniacs! Only 12 sleeps til Christmas."

"DONT SIT IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR EXAMINING YOUR FLAWS. QUIT IT. THEY ARENT REALLY THERE. ITS ALL IN YOUR HEAD. BE CONFIDENT IN WHO YOU ARE!!!"

"What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Consuelo."

"What does the Queen put on her toast? Maamilade! Tada....... anyone? Anyone? I'll get my coat"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. To be read: *seven ate nine*"