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Joke of the Day

"Can't wait to say ""I haven't seen you since last year!"" to everyone I see next week. I'm a very popular person with thousands of friends."

"At Comic Con, all I could think was how happy these people's moms must be to have the house to themselves for a few hours."

"How do I know you're getting laid tonight I'm stronger than you"

"Why did princess Diana cross the street? Because she wasn't wearing her seatbelt."

"When I get heavier, I am actually easier to pick up. What am I? A woman"

"My teacher told me that I am unique But when I told my mom what my teacher said she replied,"" Sweetie, just because you are autistic doesn't make you special""."

"What do you call two crows standing side by side? Attempted murder."

"I like my wine how I like my women 15 years old and locked in a basement"

"I Like my slaves how i like my coffee............ Free"

"Pregnant coworker with 3 children who always complains about money: When are YOU going to start having kids? Me: When are you going to stop?"