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Joke of the Day

"Why do Hipsters wear long pants in the summer They are doing it before it's cool"

"How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick."

"Two Goldfish were in a tank. What did one fish ask the other? So how do you drive this thing?"

"How do you start a racist joke? With a look over your shoulder."

"Why are women so bad at being hockey goalies? Because there are 3 periods and only 2 pads."

"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because you were the only car in the lot and I parked so close you couldn't open your door."

"Twitter kidnapped my Tweets. I just posted 2 of them and they disappeared. I hope they're okay and are being treated well wherever they are."

"Catch a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish (read the rest as Groucho Marx) and you'll never see him on the weekends."

"GOOD NEWS... If you make minimum wage you don't have to pay income tax or eat."

"A baby seal walks into a club.... ba dum bump - ting...."