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Joke of the Day

"I had a winning lottery ticket but I couldn't cash it in before it expired and now I get nothing. I am *such* a Democrat."

"Did you hear about the guy who went for the world fapping record? He almost pulled it off."

"I take karate classes solely to fight off hobos who mistake my man bun for a delicious cinnamon roll"

"A girl dialed her own no. from her bf's cell to see her name saved in list like doll or sweetie.she was shocked to see............Mukesh plumber..:)"

"Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!"

"My favorite sitcom episode is the one where there's a huge misunderstanding."

"Why don't Boxers have sex before a fight? They don't like eachother"

"When do cannibals cook you? On Fried-days."

"What does Asian Matthew Mcconaughey want for dinner? All rice, all rice, all rice"

"A mime once nearly had me convinced that a wall was actually there... ...but it was just an obstacle illusion."