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Joke of the Day

"Why Do Black People Run Fast? Because they have to run 3 kilometers and back everyday to get water."

"Why did Cinderella get kicked off for the soccer team? She kept running from the ball."

"Thou shalt not winky face smiley another man's twitter crush. -Emojenesis 8:15"

"My first kid will be named Gotham. That way when I have to get up in the middle of the night when they're crying I can say ""Gotham needs me"""

"There's no time capsule quite like the pocket of a coat that's been in the closet for a year."

"What's the difference between you and an egg? An egg gets laid."

"Almost touched an old person tonight. Luckily I jerked my arm away before they could drain me of my youth and vigor."

"When I was a kid my parents would warn me if I was naughty the boogie man would get me I was never scared though, I loved disco music"

"How are blowjobs and hollandaise sauce alike? You can't get either at home."

"""Hey, wanna get hunted down by humans?"" ""Sure, I'm game."""