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Joke of the Day
"god bless the 1st weatherman to dress as danny zuko & plead with sandy"
Next Joke
"I make love like a machine. Unfortunately it's a two-stroke engine."
"I have an extensive library of over 2,000 classic, important books just in case you have a question about the first 54 pages of one of them."
"What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? just trying to fit in."
"3-year-old: Can the baby come out to play? Pregnant wife: No, honey. She's not ready yet. 3-year-old: Wife: 3-year-old: Babies are lazy."
"*sits 27 hours for an oil on canvas portrait* omg delete that. Bartholomew i'm serious do not fucking hang that in the Great Hall"
"What type of carpet do you put in an igloo? Burr-burr"
"If there is a zombie apocalypse I hope that they are thriller zombies because they're fabulous dancers"
"I've put something aside for a rainy day. It's an umbrella."
"What time is it when twenty dogs and one cat get together? 20 after 1."