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Joke of the Day

"My neighbors loved the music so much when I turned it up, that they invited the police to listen. :)"

"The streaker was thinking about retiring... but he decided to stick it out another year."

"Yo momma's so fat that objects 5 meters away accelerate at 1 m/s^2 toward her. What is yo momma's mass if G = 6.67x10^-11Nm^2/kg^2? Please, someone help me, I can't solve it and it's making me nuts."

"What do you call a woman with one short leg? ilene."

"Your first mistake was wearing heels in this dodgeball tournament, Jason. The second was thinking that they went with that dress."

"So this Roman guy... This Roman guy walks into a Tavern, raises two fingers and yells, 'five beers please!'"

"Two gay guys are hanging out... Two gay guys are hanging out, and one says to the other, ""Hey, let's play hide and go seek! Loser gets fucked in the ass... I'll be behind the couch."""

"50 Cent has about 50 cents left"

"Well i thinks it's safe to say there will be no Turkey for Christmas this year"

"How disturbingly inappropriate would it be if ""Thomas the Tank Engine"" was set in early-1940s Germany? #ThomasDieKleineLokomotive"