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Joke of the Day

"I have an extensive library of over 2,000 classic, important books just in case you have a question about the first 54 pages of one of them."

"What does one chauvinist say to the other? There's a thousand things I'd like to do in my life, and those are just the pretty ones!"

"Why do they call old people 'frogs' in Florida? 'Cause they all go there to croak!"

"Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman. A good example: ""I used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday!"""

"I really, really need to stop eating clocks It is very time consuming"

"How did Sigmund Freud die? He slipped"

"Never trust anyone who says you need to come out of your shell because let's start with the fact that they think you're a turtle"

"Mommy? Does Barbie come with Ken? No dear, she comes with G.I. Joe, she fakes it with Ken."

"What's the best part of a redneck brothel? The family discount"

"*does coke* *has unprotected sex* *smokes cigarettes* ""oh haha no I don't drink soda because it's bad for you"""