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Joke of the Day

"[morgue] mum: [crying over my bullet ridden body] how did this happen cop: the robber yelled ""everyone be cool"" so he tried to do a kickflip"

"I'm not a racist. Racism is a crime and crime is for black people."

"How do Russians watch online movies? Nyetflix!"

"Why did the dish and spoon hide their computer? The cat kept fiddling with i.t."

"Sci Fi Films I don't understand why in Sci Fi films, whenever there's danger they never send in a Cargo ship. So much for the Element of Supplies."

"Why do actors like snooker halls? Because that's where they get their best cues."

"People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses."

"Jesus came to me the other night Please let me out."

"[NSFW] I like my coffee the way I like slaves... Free, you asshole."

"Commented on a woman's french manicure. ""I like your tips"" ...let's just say she didn't hear me correctly."