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Joke of the Day

"One of my stuffed animals just told me I should get back on my meds, I guess someone doesn't want to be part of tea party club anymore."

"Hey, cooking directions on the sides of packages: Nobody knows the wattage of their microwave."

"If you see someone wearing camouflage, make sure to walk right into them so they know it's working."

"I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn't want to interrupt her."

"Honey, we should really think about becoming parents. I mean, we've already had the kids."

"When is there two Ds in ""her?"" http://imgur.com/Rmc4pha"

"Why did they pull a lawsuit against the spa for their wax treatment? It was a ripoff."

"[Friday Night] WIFE: Have fun at poker ME {stopping at door}: What did you say? W: Have fun ME: After that W: Uh..at poker- ME: IT'S POKEMAN"

"I don't mean to make sweeping generalizations but all brooms are pretty much the same."

"I met a 14 year old girl on the internet... She was clever, funny, flirty, and sexy. I suggested we meet up. She turned out to be an undercover detective. How cool is that at her age?"