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Joke of the Day

"I don't mean to make sweeping generalizations but all brooms are pretty much the same."

"Reddit is like a newspaper... ...all of the headlines happened yesterday."

"There is a mile long line of cars stopped ahead, but go ahead and honk at the guy in front of you. It might help."

"Dear messed-up memory, please tell me where are my keys instead of reminding me that shit I did on May 08, 2002 at 09;13;54 PM."

"A liberal, a conservative and a moderate walk into a bar. The bartender says ""Afternoon, Mitt! What can I get for you?"""

"Why is it okay for an ice company to commit fraud? Their assets are already frozen!"

"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if you crushed his spirit by telling him how worthless he was and deprived him of a good education?"

"I landed a really nice job at the local sperm bank But was soon after let go for drinking on the job."

"Is it ok to have sex with a third cousin? I didn't seem to have any problems with the first two."

"Did you hear Giuseppe went to the bowling alley last night? Ebola perfect game!"