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Joke of the Day

"Knock Knock Who's there? IP IP Who Haha...that's nice r/eli5 it's funny because it sounds like I poo"

"Did you hear the headline abou the lunatic who raped the laundry woman and ran away? ""Nut screws washer and bolts"""

"What did the lawyer say to the sovereign citizen when asked for legal counsel? **Am I being retained?** **Am I being retained?**"

"How do you get an anorexic chick in bed? Well, it ain't a piece of cake."

"[reeling in big fish and turns to friend] you got the net? ""yes"" ok, google how to get this thing in the boat"

"A quantum physicist gets pulled over. The police officer asks ""Sir, do you have any idea how fast you were going?"" The quantum physicist responds ""No, but I know exactly where I am."""

"I like my KitKat like I like my girls: Two at once."

"What do cannibals call shin meat? Below knee"

"It's my mate's birthday today. He doesn't drink, smoke, gamble or cheat on his missus. We've got no idea how to celebrate it."

"You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts."