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Joke of the Day

"A quantum physicist gets pulled over. The police officer asks ""Sir, do you have any idea how fast you were going?"" The quantum physicist responds ""No, but I know exactly where I am."""

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"Al Gore should have had a band named The Algorehythms. Courtesy of my dad at lunch today."
"It never ceases to amaze me that the little space between the driver's seat and the center console in my car will fit any object that can possibly be dropped, but will not fit a hand."
"Yo mama is like the gas station. Pump and Pay."
"[news anchor] ""Up next, can more sex lead to a healthier & happier-"" *wife changes channel*"
"Every time I drive past a hitchhiker I feel kinda bad thinking maybe they're just liking my status."
"A termite walks into a bar and asks... ""Is the bar tender here?"""
"what is the stupidest animal in the jungle? The polar bear"
"What's green and sings? Elvis Parsley."
"Yo Mama's so fat that while she's sits on the beach the lifeguard comes up to her to say ""Excuse me mame but the tide wants to come in."""