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Joke of the Day

"Yo son, do you like nachos? ""Hell yeah!"" *son goes in for high 5* That's good, 'cause I'm nacho real dad *rejects high 5* You're adopted lol"

"Why did God give man a penis? So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up."

"Company suspends sponsorship deal with Sharapova after she failed drug test To protect Volkswagen's excellent brand image. They can't affiliate with people who might have cheated."

"Thought of starting an origami business but too lazy to do all the paperwork involved."

"Did you hear that Bjork covered a Lady Gaga song? It's called ""Bjorn This Way""."

"A woman in a bikini reveals about 90% of her body.... and yet most men are so polite they only look at the covered parts."

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house."

"Don't worry, they'll tell you. How do you know OP put the punchline in the title?"

"A man walks into a graveyard bar ""Can I get a beer?"" he asks as he walks up to the bar. ""I'm sorry,"" replies the bartender. ""We serve only spirits."""

"I tried to give a cute waitress my phone number by writing it on the credit card receipt but accidentally tipped her 5 billion dollaers???"