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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a graveyard bar ""Can I get a beer?"" he asks as he walks up to the bar. ""I'm sorry,"" replies the bartender. ""We serve only spirits."""

"[Snow White sees her doctor] Snow White: How bad is it, Doctor? Doc: Damn it I told you I'm a mine worker not a doctor. It's my name, idiot"

"I'm not sure if I want to move to Sweden... but the flag is a big plus."

"What idiot called it synthetic cannabis instead of Crock Pot?"

"When can women make you a millionaire? When you're a billionaire."

"What is an aliens favorite keyboard key The space key"

"""If you don't let the Jews go, I will find you. I will kill you."" Liam Neeson returns in... TAKEN 3: SCHINDLER'S PISSED (Summer 2015)"

"When I text someone and they don't text me back, I automatically assume that they fainted from over excitement."

"I just smoked so much pot that I tried to order one of the dishes of food off the scrolling instagram menu."

"Yesterday, I got so depressed.. ..I spent entire day listening to Celine Dion records. . . Or that's what I thought until I realised my cat had fallen in to the dryer."